Gettin' back on that Horse!

So, dating after having a hysterectomy is a little trickier than I thought. I didn't realize it would be so difficult to feel "normal" again.

I have my last follow up with the doc tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure she is going to give me the green light to go ahead and resume my regular activities...such as working out.  The time has come where I'm supposed to get back to my "normal" life...only,  I can't really forget about all that's happened to me....got the hot flashes to remind me, a few hundred times a day!

I was on a date last week, having dinner....and I must have had like 4 hot flashes in the 2 hours I was there. It's a little embarassing when you go from cool as a breeze to oh my God I am bursting into flames internally, in like 3 seconds flat.   And did I mention the sweat?  yes....I am usually covered in sweat by the time my hot flash has passed. 

I wondered what he must have been thinking....

"Wow I must make her really nervous!!...score!"     I thought it was kinder to let him go ahead and think that. Plus I wasn't ready to get into the story that led to my oh so persistant hot flashes.

I hardly know how to dress anymore.....I try to wear light layers, but then I'm freezing. So I put on a sweater, and then I'm boiling.  So my day goes a little something like this: Put on the sweater, take off the sweater....put on the sweater, take off the sweater...put on the sweater...take off the sweater. Well you get the idea!

Basically, resuming my normal activities...such as dating....has turned out to be more complex than I thought. The thing is, I have to try and get my life back at some point...and I think that point is now.

As hard as it is to move forward from all of this, I have to do it....and I know it'll get easier in time. I guess right now it just feels emotional.

It's not so bad...

I woke up this morning feeling a little sorry for myself.  I didn't sleep very well last night, between the constant hot flashes and the terrible headaches. The hot flashes are because of the menopause....the headaches...well I'm still trying to figure those out.

I was all ready to feel sad today, and to mourn the things that I lost.....and to be upset at the fact that I have had to face challanges that no one my age really should.

But God has a funny way of bringing you perspective when you're in need for it....He's annoying that way.....so no sulking for me.

I found this blog in my inbox this morning, from Sue Friedman, the Executive Director of FORCE....where she shares her story of getting cancer, being diagnosed BLOWS2 positive. It reminded me how we can always turn something really terrible into a positive. It also reminded me that there are some really incredible and strong women out there.....and I'd like nothing more than to be one of them.

Take a read
http://facingourrisk.wordpress.com/2012/10/31/a-healing-light-from-within/