Monday, October 8, 2012

Dr. Jekyll and "Ms. Hyde"..

The madness started at about 7:05 am...that's when I woke up.  
I immediately felt awkward not waking up in the same room I've been waking up in for the last 4 years.....but I figured that the "new house/move-in" jitters are pretty normal, so I held it together ok.

I found some sweat pants and a tshirt on my bed (my entire wardrobe is in the trunk of my car).....and went downstairs.
My hysteria got a bit more intense as I paced from room to room...making my way around the clutter....It all just felt so strange, and new...and I was out of place.

I started playing my guitar...becuase that usually relaxes me....and sure, it worked for a bit.

The madness really kicked into high gear around 9:15 am....when my sister came downstairs and I started exploding tears like a baby...guitar still in hand.

I'm not even sure weather it was the move, or the fact that I'm still in pain..... or the fact that I have no cable (essential to my well being!) Then again, it might have been a combination of all of it.

In the last 4 weeks I have: gotten a call from the doctor saying they found a tumor in my ovaries, that may or may not be malignant; made the decision to not only remove the tumor..but my ovaries and uterus along with it; made peace with the fact that I will never have biological children; had major surgery; got amazing news about the tumor (benign...benign); was in terrible pain for days, and am still not able to move around that much; got 4 brand new scars on my already scarred stomach; and last but not least....said good bye to the house I love and moved into a brand new house with a significantly smaller closet in my room!

Now I can't be sure.....but I think all this merits a freak-out!   Well, I've had mine.....I knew it was bound to happen.....and I think that sometimes it's absolutely necessary to just cry it all out!

As it turns out, I woke up this morning and feel much my perspective back....and was able to convince Comcast to come out today and install my cable!  I may even venture out to IKEA and buy a brand new (roomy) closet.....All's well that ends well.

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