How do you tell a guy that you have BRCA? (aka BLOWS1)
I have spoken to a fair share of women who share the misfortune of having this gene; women who have opted to do preventative surgeries, such as mastectomies, and histerectomies and the works! However, I realized today that none of them were single! hmmmm.....
So what do you do when you're a single (ridiculously beautiful...hehe) woman, have had multiple surgeries...have lost your real breasts, your ability to have children....and you want to start dating??
Clearly, this is not something you want to tell a guy during your first date, but it is a huge part of who you are, and your history/past experiences, so how can you not talk about it at some point?
A lot of questions come to mind when you're dating someone, such as: "When do I tell him?", "How do I bring it up", "How do I explain what it is without making it sound like I'm a ticking time bomb that could go off at any minute!???"
And of course there is always the struggle of making sure you stop yourself from blurting it out casually over dinner. I can just see it now.....
Guy: "can you pass the bread please?"
Me: "oh of course, I have no ovaries!"
Then of course, there is the one question that we will always be asking ourselves, "Will he not want to be with me because of all of this?"
I have asked myself that question many times in the last two years. Sometimes, I foresaw a negative response, and other times a positive one. The thing is that you never really know how guys are going to react to this, and that doesn't only go for guys....it goes for people in general.
But life has to go on, at the end of the day...you're still a woman, and brca is a part of you...and all the surgeries and experiences are a part of you too, and they're not all bad. I am a big believer that someone should accept you for you....surgeries and all. and if they don't...well then they can just take a flying leap into something!
So, I don't have the details of how the "BRCA conversation" is going to go, I've only ever told one guy that I was seeing "briefly"....and that was pre-histerectomy, so the next time I talk about it...it'll be a different conversation.
If it's any consolation....the first guy seemed more concerned about where we were going to dinner that night, than the fact that I have fake boobs. Guys are very simple creatures ladies...and sometimes it works in our favor.